Posterous theme by Cory Watilo

A little deconstruction of the received hate email:

I want to deconstruct this little email of hate and pure psychopath and write what I would write if I could write back to this a**hole.
  1. If you don't like our ad, ignore it. Why waste your spell checker on us? Though Shawn likes the snark of "...chips on your shoulders..." quite a bit. It shows you can use your mind if you want to.
  2. I'm disabled. So wishing I die of cancer's a really nice touch of hate. What if I have cancer and already am dying of it? Do you do the touchdown dance?
  3. My husband works full-time and then some. In case you're unaware, working half-time from home means he works from home half the time he works. Or do you have no clue about how some computer jobs get handled?
  4. Trust fund? Our parents bought this house? Don't make me LAUGH. As if. That's the stupidest part of all the stupidity of the whole email.
  5. You don't like the fact we want to ask our roommate to have similar tastes or at least respect our mores? Well, have fun hooking up a Christian with a Scientologist with a Satanist. I thought being up front with our house rules would weed out morons like you.
  6. We don't want drugs because we're actually druggies and lazy to boot. Okay, I was wrong. There is a more stupid statement to be found. This is it.
  7. Oh, sending all this hate, vitriol, wanting me to be raped and me and my husband killed using your email with your name? If this does turn out to be your email and your real name I can not WAIT for the cops, hotmail AND craigslist to get in touch with you. Seriously.
  8. My friends have my back. They really do. So you can just go back to your little militia hideaway where nobody ever moves from where they're from (oh, and we moved here from upstate NY, not CA, though we have lived there, but we've also lived in London and spent time traveling, which is obviously more than I can say for you) to any place else, because god forbid they might get COOTIES.
  9. Oh, and you're a foul-mouthed mouth-breathing cretin. Just to reiterate your head up your ass status.