How Offensive & How Sad
Surely it will become outfitted with the descriptive word multiple if current behavior remains constant. My foolishness in trusting her gets shown again when her reaction to a simple and legally motivated no blows up her behavior to where she acts like a teenager being told no by her parents.
I'm sick and in pain and alone except for my pets. It's beyond my understanding how many people say they're meant to be caregivers.
She wanted a description of duties. It was in the ad as bullet points in a list. Clear and clarified. I said she could write something up but by then she had changed her mind. Without telling me.
Suddenly she's become everything I wrote I didn't want. High in both melodrama and maintenance. Seriously.
She came across in her interviews as a pretty straight and slightly uptight person whom I wasn't sure I would get along with.
Turns out she is an alcoholic with extreme stoner issues and regular psychedelic drug use for a 26 year old. Add the melodrama and high maintenance and add her personal attacks that come out of nowhere and her intense rewriting of the past and WOW is she the antithesis of somebody who should be living with anybody she's also supposed to care for.
She ended communication with a complete reversal of last weekend. That was when she asked to borrow money and said she would owe me for it. Today she said I owe her money now. She basically stole from me. As did Rhianna.
I don't want to trust anybody again but I need help urgently due to my incapacity due to my health. So I will need to. But I might die from this. The dizzy spells are getting worse. And the blacking out becoming more of an issue.
I have cash to pay for dog food. And cat food. I am too dizzy to do this safely on my own. To try and drive. To walk the dogs. To see through this haze. It's difficult. Maybe I can move savings to checking to have delivery done tomorrow. Walking -- those faux lawns for dogs in apartments in big buildings in big cities. The big worry is if I can't keep a crisis from happening.
Murderer? Manslaughter once and maybe myself and or my pets. If I get worse. I'm exhausted and it hurts more than I can say with the dizziness not helping.
I can hope for help from helping hands who see the truth of the need. And listen to Sondheim for the truth he lays bare in musicals like "Sundays" or "Company." And hope for a friend to offer help getting the pets fed and cuddling while watching movies tonight.
Tonight.
If I wasn't sick I wouldn't need to ask. I wish I could feel healthy enough to go buy the dogs and the cats food and afterwards I would still feel okay. I can hope and wish. For no more dizzy spells. For the ability to easily care for my pets. I'm so saddened by ... well, everything these past couple weeks.
I've had a divorce I didn't want forced on me. Also in a state that I don't live in and didn't want done there. My nurse cat died. My newest caregiver turned out to be a mistake. We gave notice at the same time. Only she only gave me three days notice.
I have no help and no care and nobody in this entire planet gives a rats ass. Doesn't that make the claim you're good untrue? It is untrue. I feel the worst about the dogs.


