Only Stand So Much Before Dismissal
It amazes me how I keep finding myself pulled in with my thoughts full of love and trust only to have the same issues crop up that causes the chorus of "You need a lawyer to protect yourself from somebody who has nothing but their own self interest at heart," to start up again.
It's funny that my crying brings Femme Pois to my side no matter where she is when I start. Tonight she came in so quietly that I didn't sense her until she was already by my side. She came in so quietly her claws against the wooden floors or the sound of her coming up yhe pet stairs didn't alert me. Not until she was by my feet, non-verbally asking permission to come and lick the tears streaming down my face did either of us know she had heard and come to comfort. She's on my left arm now. Purrbarella is on my other side, currently watching the aquarium.
My medical bills are large yet still grow. And if all goes well with Stanford's "Pain Clinic" there will be more bills and prescriptions and if I'm worthy of admittance that's more to add to my hospital bills of June 2009 and October 2010. Bills that Shawn has gone against the original DFA breakdown submitted by him that he now repudiates and adds to my debt/bills pile - a pile he keeps adding to. A financial monstrosity looming higher and larger and more frightening each time he adds to it.
I've no way to help myself escape this continual worsening behavior so the chorus sings out, from all sides, that I'm too sick to handle affairs of such import by myself and an attorney is much needed. Not only my illness but also my one-sided love causes me to need outside and impartial help at such a major juncture of my life.
Unrequited affection alone might be enough, but add everything up and it magnifies so the whole becomes much more than the sum. Sort of like how FP shivers like mad on my arm, but just adding the right amount of blanket stops it without her notice. But it has to be just right or no end to her shivers. No - that doesn't equate in the manner I hoped. But the base truth still exists.
I put my heating blanket away too soon. I'll replace it tomorrow. And maybe he'll come around and realize my medical expenses are higher than he counted and that covering past due bills that fell under his jurisdiction don't suddenly become mine just because he says so. And I really hope he didn't take the insurance check to pay the ambulance bill and spend it on other things. Because that bill still is HIS no matter what. I trusted him with that check and have emails somewhere saying over and over to make sure he used that check properly by paying the ambulance company - who sent me another bill for it.
Another reason for the chanting chorus...
