Posterous theme by Cory Watilo

Roasted Garlic Mashed Potatoes

This recipe can be done with slight alterations to fit your taste and your diet. Anything from skim milk to rice milk and peeled versus peeled as you prefer.

Take between 7 and 12 medium sized golden potatoes, peel, then dice and put them in a large pot of boiling water.

Take two to four whole bunches of garlic and wrap them in tinfoil before placing them in a 350* oven for 45 minutes.

After the garlic has shown a sticky golden residue on the tinfoil (I generally wrap them up and leave the top exposed for this very purpose), unwrap and peel each clove, removing any inedible bits. Put the whole of the group to the side.

When the potatoes are soft enough to crumble, remove from the stove and drain them.

Either with a potato masher or a mixer, start mashing (or whipping) the potatoes, take quarters of butter (or butter substitute) and after cutting them into quarters, add a quarter of a pound, add the roasted garlic, take your milk or milk substitute of choice and start with a half cup, adding milk and butter to taste.

I generally find a cup of original rice milk and close to a pound of butter substitute works fine (for my vegan friends) - especially when I use the whipping extension for my KitchenAid mixer. More milk means a creamier texture so go by quarter cups at a time.

You can complete the dish by placing it in a covered casserole dish, adding pats of butter in the top all around, covering it and putting it on a cookie pan or over tinfoil, and then sticking it in the oven to bake for 20 minutes right before serving it with a mushroom gravy.

The more you love garlic, the more bunches you should indulge in. A garlic roaster is unnecessary. I've found tinfoil works excellently. Salt should not be added by the cook. Butter or butter substitute has enough for a non-jaded palate, and people can always add it at the table to taste.

I've never written up a recipe before so if something seems unclear or I haven't given enough detail, please let me know.

Recipe fun

My favorite menu for the holidays:

Candied Sweet Potatoes
Baked Cauliflower Au Gratin
Sautéed Spinach
Cucumber Salad
Mashed Potatoes
Either Tofurkey or Worthington Fri-Chik with Stuffing
Mushroom Gravy

Pumpkin Pie
Apple Pie

Most of these can be either vegan or lacto-veggie. I'll write up the recipes this week. I don't use measuring cups or weights so I will be writing my recipes the way I generally do them (by eye and taste) which will feed about four people.

If anybody I know has a specific recipe they want please comment - I know I have a bunch I've had friends request so now is a good time to ask.

Oh, I'm Selling Everything

Almost every single piece of clothing I'm putting up for sale, as well as my wigs, and a lot of my accessories too.

Corsets, gowns, rubber tops, Lip Service and such, one of a kind wig and outfit sets, masks, collectibles, all of it.

I'm posting the two Vollers corsets photos here to see if I can get interest in them so I can sell them to somebody as a gift either for somebody they know or for themselves.

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Why? Because I will never fit in them again. And even if I could in a year or two by the I will consider myself too old to wear them. I will most likely be in my mid-40s before it could realistically occur that my weight could go from my upper stratosphere back to the lower numbers I weighed for most of my life.

And so, rather than keep this huge collection, much better for me to sell it all off and as soon as possible. It's so large I wish I could gather it all together to sell on consignment. My clothes could realistically take up one wall of a shop, having collected for 20-odd years my varied selection.

Here is my AzAc gown with matching LanaLand/Crude Things wig. The corset gown and the wig cost a bit, certainly. But they're both very worth it. The wig being one of a kind, for instance. The dress does not come with the panniers, however you can find them for about $30-.

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I need to go on a photo taking spree and start the process in earnest. I have serious interest in my rubber collection already. To sell that would be heavenly. The same I can say of my corsets. To lose by sale those and my AzAc pieces I consider a mixed blessing. The money helps buy clothes I need to exchange for the ones that no longer fit.

Besides it hurts every time I look through them. I have memories of shoots or nights out or gifts given and a sense of my lost past that is forever gone and can never be reclaimed. I will never have some things not only in my life again, but I feel as though the past I remember is false and that hurts even more. Here are two really gorgeous shirts I have for sale as well. They're rubber. One is sewn one is not. They both have zippers to make getting them on much easier than normal. Barely worn and I'm asking a fair price. Willing to negotiate depending on which one and whether or not you purchase multiple items.

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Better for it all to go and never haunt me again except through pictures.

Even shoes should go, and boots, and ... Well all of it. The space will be welcome.

http://pics.livejournal.com/mollyblack/gallery/000cq5ca <-- Photos of even more items!

Shattered

I have felt so sad about some things recently that I can't honestly say I would do things over again.

I never considered myself a breeder, but learning that the non-cancerous growth on my pituitary gland caused a false early menopause as well as probably infertility as long as I've had it has caused me no end of regret of a path forever closed.

A part of me wishes I had a child when I was healthy, though with whom I could not say.

I want my puppies asap. Cats just aren't the same.

My heart feels as though it's shattering over and over again.

It makes (even more) physically ill to contemplate the situation between me and my ex. Over $4000 to do a mediated settlement. Our financial situation can not handle it. If it could I would want to use that money instead for Dignitas or relocation to Amsterdam - both my most realistic options in my right to die search for legally assisted early release from this vale of pain.

A friend's wife went into labor a few hours ago. They're doing a home birth with a midwife. Nothing prepared me for the way it has affected me.

But it hurts on top of the hurt and the pain.

Yeah, this sucks

I'm completely freaked out by the knowledge I have a non-cancerous tumor on my pituitary gland that could have caused so much of the wreckage in my life.

So the fact I basically went cold-turkey on Xanax after four or five years of daily use and now I'm slowly (one month at a time vs the two weeks a pharmacist told me was plausible) dropping my Fentynal patches after being on as high a dose as 125 I'm now at 75 is just me pushing my own internal envelope.

Erica keeps telling me how strong I am and the past six weeks prove her beyond right. I may end up using a different opioid to control the pain, but until I end up on a dopamine agonist I have to literally try to use as few addictive medications as possible.

None of that makes sense to people that don't have degenerative diseases, most likely.

My neurologist may end up taking over my pain management. She's closer, more experienced, and has a better grasp on the whole of my condition. Which just keeps getting more and more into the neuro-endocrine and autoimmune problems.

The good thing is unlike my fibromyalgia this new series of problems has a very clear paper trail. And based on the next month or so I may end up on even stronger medications than the ones I'm cutting off for trial purposes. If I could just do it now? Trust me, I would.

Wish List(s) for Solstice

I decided to share my HUGE wish list that I've put together over the past few years on Amazon. With being bedridden and a worsening condition I feel a little weird, but not much really since I have things on it that cost as little as $.99 and as much as $4k.

My indoor garden needs salad green seeds and a new filter, my book collection can always stand increasing, mp3s are inexpensive and make me happy (as well as helping me make my annual solstice cd gift up to date), my health needs are real and can always use help, and video games always cause a burst of pleasure. A PSP of my very own or a DS i with camera feature acts as a gaming version of my iPod Touch in allowing me to game while laying down and struggling with the pain...

And the best part is I don't really expect anything at all. Joy gave me immense joy one year with a 360 - a generous gift that I still have yet to really grasp. And other friends have shown similar compassion to me, understanding full well that I have no money.

My disability case needs a lawyer to take it up again, but with that currently out of my ability (the state of TX said yes I'm disabled and can't work again, but I missed my social security window by four ((!!!!!)) months) I barely have money to buy the clothes I need since my steroid weight gain so every gift is a treasure for me.

If you can and want to? I would feel blessed. If you can't but want to? Even a card or a home made cd gives me pleasure at knowing that people are thinking of me.

Wishes for music, books, games, inexpensive things, and a few expensive things.

I still have a metric ton of clothes and wigs and assorted things from my modeling days 100 pounds ago so buying items from me for yourself or to give as gifts also works toward making it so I can have spending money of my very own for my own caprices - holiday cards for the first time since the breakdown of my marriage and books and mixed CDs to send out to my friends this year...Pictures of what I have for sale are on both MSN and my LJ scrapbook. More pictures will go up with links by the end of the first week of December.

I want to have a tree and friends visiting and my dogs and cats snug with me this solstice. And if I can sell my beautiful vintage and/or one of a kind clothes and accessories I will be happy to.

I only wish I had a fireplace...

Health update from my neurologist

The news from the neurologist I saw on Wednesday was in some ways good and in some ways not so good. I apparently have Hashimoto's thyroiditis as well as a growth on my pituitary gland causing pryolactic something or other. On top of the Addison's.

I'm getting an ultrasound of my lower legs to check for blood clots as well as another test before Dr. Young (my neurologist) puts me on a dopamine agonist. That should hopefully handle the growth. If not then surgery. But it shouldn't need to be surgery - unless the medication doesn't work.

I've added links to sites with information about them and the problems - including my apparent peri-menopause which may have actually been due to the growth on my pituitary gland's instead.

Not that it matters at this stage, but these are neurological and endocrinological issues far beyond my control. Possibly hereditary issues that never were looked for by doctors and thus handled at an earlier stage.

Honestly I feel as though my life has been ruined by these things I have had no control over. Though the universe knows how hard I have tried to build a happy and stable life for myself even not knowing why I kept having more and more problems with my physical and mental health.

I feel as though my marriage (and several of my friendships) was destroyed by Shawn's not understanding and/or believing that my mental problems stemmed from things I had literally almost no control over. Erica thinks he just couldn't handle caring any more. Point blank that nothing could have changed his abandoning me. So between my fairly constant panic attacks, stress levels that are ridiculously high and my utterly overwhelming feelings of worthlessness I can't stop crying tonight.

I hate to believe Shawn would always choose the easy way out by 10 out of 10 times leaving me at a crisis point in my health, but I guess I know it's true. And that's part of why I don't really want anything to do with him. How can I take care of myself emotionally if I give him any leeway? He has had multiple opportunities to step up like a mature man and care for me rather than continue on his immature path of bullshit, lies and evasion.

When somebody is as sick as I am and needs care and consideration and love? Only somebody strong enough to unconditionally give those is allowed even as a friend. Otherwise it will just lead to more trauma that I can't handle.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hashimoto_thyroiditis

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000704.htm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperprolactinemia

Absolutely Something...

My Mother actually wrote to me that she wished I could spend Thanksgiving with the whole family.

I hadn't expected it and I have to admit it made me tear up and wish I could go.

Wish I could find a ride there from here somehow. If I had known I would have tried to get a train ticket there and back. It would have been even better if I could have done a stop in Austin and picked up my dogs too.

I miss my two dogs incredibly...

Thanksgiving for Veggies

I've decided to host a vegetarian buffet this coming Thursday and my local friends and acquaintances are invited to partake in my cooking, as well as bringing a dish of your own, if you so desire.

I'll make everything lacto-ovo, however if any vegans care to join I can make several of my dishes vegan instead.

Having visitors will be nice and I can make sure not to wear myself out...and if I do? I have three plus days to recover.

I haven't had a chance to really celebrate with friends in a very long time and I hope, if you read this and are local, that you join me (and Erica, unless a real turkey dinner lures her away) for at least a few hours between 4pm and 10pm.

We can watch movies, listen to music, play Rock Band, or just cook and eat...a pleasant evening for everybody.

Bring Your Own Beverage...