Posterous theme by Cory Watilo

All you can do is try

The noises get to me at the strangest times. Tonight I overheard a motorcycle high revving its engine in that tone you normally only hear at Indy 500 type events.

For some reason the scream of the engine really flipped me back in time to a memory I've apparently blocked. But it won't let me think in a non-anxious way so I'm laying here trying to sort through why while still feeling off-balance.

I have far too many things worrying me (and for good reasons they worry me) and I need a break which is why I suppose I keep passing out for huge amounts of time. It's related to sleep, but it all boils down to my brain and body needing serious respite and taking it.

Too much to think about and it's well past my bedtime. Which spins my thoughts toward sleep schedules and then on to hospital schedules. They told me at Stanford that I would have to work very hard if they accepted me as an intake patient. I'm terrified of the cost, but I'm more afraid they'll end up rejecting me. Money, debts, pain, nausea, divorce, etc all add up to me in a psychological mess. After I triple check with insurance I need to see Candice asap.

Now to read a little more sci-fi before heading back to the land of slumber before a new day that will hopefully see some things cleared up so a worry or two will ease up.