Posterous theme by Cory Watilo

Don't Read If Distress Distresses You

I'm laying here in bed, nauseous, dizzy, trying to read if not sleep. My lungs feel weird. My female parts feel as though a UTI is heading into port. My eyes can't stop their watering. My lungs wheeze every so often.

This all has me saying outloud, albeit quietly, "Please let me die, I feel I can't take much more." I say it quietly, so as to not disturb even a hair in my home.

I've written a little more and there's still much more to be put out of my brain and into the universe on a piece of paper. Step-by-step, eh?

Yay.

Any Ideas?

I'm really sick. Raul thinks I may have a sinus infection. Ugh. I'm sweating, coughing if I let myself breathe in too deep, and shaking fairly bad. Anybody have a disability lawyer's info in the Oakland, CA area? Anybody? I need to get my case restarted and heading into the correct area. Pretty please I plead prettily to pursue a personal disability case. Though I'm honestly sweating and shaking and hurting. This sucks. I'm stuck sweating, sickly. Ugh again.

What to do, what to do?

The nausea and dizzy spells are about as bad as they can get, with large bits of pain hurting me as I try to remain as curled up as possible. I definitely don't want the pain and such to continue but I'm honestly stuck in the midst of this pain.

Managed to shower today, and that helped a bit to ease my nausea. But I'm honestly stuck. Financially I'm feeling beaten. What can any person unable to work do? I can't afford my rent anymore.

There's so much more, but I'm hurting too much to continue. Dreams aren't enough. Pain keeps me tightly in hand, no matter what I do to try and make my life better. I'm searching for a home for the cats first. My rent is stuck until my lease ends in May. Finally, I need two lawyers: one for disability and a second for help figuring out my situation with regards to family law.

And honestly I'm sick as can be. I am unsure whether hospital stay has become necessary. Or if I'm just struggling with whatever Raul's struggling with.

This being so sick makes me want to see if I'm SO sick that stopping my meds might end this physical illness. It's not me trying to cry for help. I'm just suffering and want it to stop. Please.

Pretty please, stop this…I can't hold on much more. I'm truly trying. Promise.