Posterous theme by Cory Watilo

What A Find For NYE 2012!

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I'm about to start watching "William Shatner's Gonzo Ballet" on Netflix, and I can honestly say that this may keep me chortling for the next 50 minutes.

I'm still alone with nobody to hold me and cuddle me and maybe even massage and smooch me. Maybe I need to readjust and get used to it.

Katie helped me run a bunch of errands this evening. Took longer than expected due to two times needing to replace her due to confusion. No worries though. I'm definitely going to miss her once Raul returns. Though I'll definitely appreciate our home's return to our healthy growing stability.

Though who knows? He may return and give two weeks notice. Anyway, I'm feeling sort of melancholic and run down. The picture I just took shows it I fear. The bags under my eyes are ridiculously dark and large. Ah well, I'll keep my self cheery by opening my bottle of champagne - I can and will watch this ballet with my drink and chocolate covered cashews.

I wish Chris was here. He'd keep me laughing and make me his excellent funnel cake and/or whiskey caramel popcorn. Yum to laughing and comfort junk food made from scratch. :-)

I'm Maintaining In The Face Of Lonely Adversity

Things have been stressful and I'm trying to maintain a certain level of nonchalance in the position I portray at home. Paranoia and immaturity both have gotten a punch in, via various caregivers.

I've been trying to lift the slack that I constantly find and find it somewhat destructive that each one, without realizing it, tries to undermine the others by emphasizing just how much they do versus how little it appears the other is doing. Each one, same phrases regarding the situation. Just hellish to try and not let either continue on in such a way. At least not to me.

I could definitely use some cheering up. In person would be best. Cuddling with one another as well as the pets, whilst watching whatever possible in 3D, whilst eating Poppycock or some homemade muffins/cupcakes or even just regular popcorn. Drinking optional. As is your 420-with-license self. I'm a total bitch who after Thanksgiving will NEVER share anything, even an expensive smokable weed, that's not prescribed again.

Want soda? Juice? No prob! Want my seemingly shareable meds? Piss off!!!

Ahem. Sorry. Just a mite bit sensitive still. I'm beyond a lot of pain (emotionally), or so I thought. Katie and Raul both kicked me when I was down yesterday…but who knows. Maybe a wonderful surprise will be mine.

You're my dreamboat dream. Who? You know, don't you?

And with that bit of crypticness I'll head off to get some photos off my camera. Maybe share some later...my perfect person has already watched the latest Doctor Who Christmas episode. No matter how. Just...I'd love to see it again.

"A*Sexual"

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Yeah. I would definitely define myself as currently quite asexual. No desire and no worries. My perfect relationship would be easy to describe to the right person. Not talking about celibacy. Just to be clear on that front.

Jackie, my "temp" caregiver, and I drove to the Walgreens to pick up Ein's meds. As I turned into my driveway we both stared as I stopped in the middle as Ein was running down the side! She forgot to close and lock the front door! Both dogs came when called and the cats were inside still and nobody had walked in. Luckily. She's young and a bit awkward, if that makes any sense to explain why she messed up.

Raul returns on Friday, along with a cousin and two friends. He's effectively on vacation until the second. Which is fine. I'm definitely looking forward to his return so the plants become his responsibility again. If any die, I don't want him blaming me.

Okay, I'm sharing a picture of my four Sweetlings all scrunched together on the floor of my bedroom, taken this afternoon. Femme Pois is the blue blankie and Ein has her head resting on a couple of my slippers. And the cats are just taking in the sun.

Should I mention that Chip, my sister, and my Mother and Stepdad all helped contribute to me having a pleasant December 25th this year? And I'm very alone, for the most part. Jackie keeps me company some of the time, but it's very isolating, my life. So a pleasant day is worth mentioning.

"Thanks For All The..."

If you're the generous giver of "Tangled" - the four-disc combo and Steampunk Gear, Gadgets, and Gizmos? It arrived in my mail today with a major screw-up of no name of the giver and the prices listed and so forth. I'd call and kvetch as how come the gifted gets the prezzies with no hidden prices and no name to thank.

But, if you read this? Thank you so much! Let me know who you are, please?

The number of friends having birthdays around now is astonishing. Lots of friends born around the Winter Solstice. Happy Birthday to all my friends ... I'm wishing for good things for you all, but a bit more for those born around now. LOL! ;-)

And now back to smoking and watching "Futurama" with commentary and subtitles. It's fun on a bun. Especially since Raul and I love watching a lot of the same things and we both LOVE the series. Starting at the beginning and heading onwards.

Ps: if you'd like a card from me - send me a PM with your snail mail, your cell number, and your birthday. A card won't be thrilling, but it's fun for me to send to friends. :-)

Damn These Sinuses! And A Thank You.

Dammit, but my sinuses are killing me. They hurt! Argh doesn't begin to cover it. Nor does it cover the side effects of it. The pain and nausea from dizziness. It totally blows.

Melissa Gianelloni sent me a surprise in the mail (two, really): Jelly Belly 50-flavor Gift Box, and a 5-color oil-based Sharpies fashion color set.

I tested the Sharpies on a glass jar I've saved my medicinal herb in. Two colors are great so far. I've tried the purple and the orange and they're exactly what I'd hoped for when I put them on my wishlist. Yay! So thank you to Melissa. And thank you to Chip for everything. Including the card.

The holidays are coming upon us so quickly this year. My tree's not up this year, tiny and old as it is, at least it looked lovely when Erica put it together. It's still in the storage unit. Ugh.

Did find an IHSS provider via my Craigslist ad. An attractive younger woman who lives within walking distance and is willing to cover any times that Raul needs off for his family time at religious holidays, such as now and Easter. Hopefully things will go smoothly with her not living here and coming to handle things three times a day.

On that note, I do have space available for any friend who might want to visit me for a chill Winter Solstice and New Year. The 24th-25th we could watch holiday movies galore and NYE we could be boring and do the countdown before beddie-bye. Mimosas for the evening. Or Xingu beer.

Loneliness, Thy Name Is Molly Black.

Even "Red Dwarf" isn't helping me out of this huge lonely pit I've become mired within.

I miss the company I've lost.

Does it seem odd that if I could I'd love to have a job in something like reality TV? My disabilities keep me from trying to attempt to do things that could move my life forward.

Woke up to a feeling of self doubt and worry that my heart hasn't been in the kindest place. A sort of feeling that I'm blocked off from my heart and thus not sharing the best of myself with the world around me.

But, in defense of my self, my stupid illnesses have me looking out for relief from their effects and have me just treading water. Which makes me a great person to hang out with, for the most part, but not exactly the outgoing social butterfly I used to be so ecstatically.

Protect me and love me and in return have an amazing cuddle partner that comes up with great business ideas and chips in more than my share so that we always have a happy home. I'll bake once in a while and share the joys of my movie and book collections at the drop of a hat.

Looking My Age

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Watching "'Baseball' by Ken Burns" first episode with Raul at his urging. It's a decent background documentary to have on when writing or playing a non-action heavy game.

We have fun teasing one another.

Mel picked up her stuff and sent me a text apologizing for what she did. I had to tell her she can never come over again. Really painful. Honesty and forthrightness are best, though they can hurt and dismay. On both sides.

Today was a decent day. I look tired and without makeup. Both true. And possibly also my age, if not older. Okay, nighty-night.