Posterous theme by Cory Watilo

Feo Has Usurped The Aquarium

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Living by myself has a lot of emotional positives. I'm enjoying it a bit, but the negatives of the situation are physical and I'm wrecked.

Whilst I'm capable with things like delivery by Safeway and friends helping me get places once in a while, the truth that people like my mother or Shawn don't understand is that I'm taking care of everything at the expense of what health I have left.

Luckily I have the love of my three sweetlings, MST3K streaming, medication to last another full week, a roof over my head, a new roommate who I'm excited to have assist with his experience arriving on the 15th, and some friends who pop out of nowhere to assist when things get lower than low.

Of course none of that seems to balance in a positive way with the stabbing pain I've got attacking me as badly as last hospital stay in October 2010. Or even as bad as after I "escaped" from their "care."

Really, really bad pain. I'm incapable of doing this for very long by myself. Enjoying listening to my neighbors in the building next to me playing what sounds like bad music but still enjoyable in it's own bizarre way.

Yeah, I would love to live by myself again. If I could. Needing help and care is not fun, no matter what people looking in might think. It sucks and I have no joy in it.

Must try my hardest to get health insurance up and running again as well as my prescription care back as soon as possible.

I definitely desperately need assistance because one thing my mother wrote is sadly true: I need somebody to protect my interests because as my divorce and the paperwork therein show I let Shawn screw me over due to not understanding what it entailed.

Hopefully Carl and Erica can at least put me in the right direction. And maybe use my T.E.N.S. unit to see if it will ease the agony. I look forward to their companionship and I'm lucky that either of them can share time with me right now.

Love, sadly, seems to not be in my future outside of plainly platonic. But that's a whole different post. But my pets give me much love and Feo keeps growing so my aquarium has a huge guy taking it over that's grown gorgeous with every inch added. Pretty. Not loving, but pretty nonetheless.