Posterous theme by Cory Watilo

Health update from my neurologist

The news from the neurologist I saw on Wednesday was in some ways good and in some ways not so good. I apparently have Hashimoto's thyroiditis as well as a growth on my pituitary gland causing pryolactic something or other. On top of the Addison's.

I'm getting an ultrasound of my lower legs to check for blood clots as well as another test before Dr. Young (my neurologist) puts me on a dopamine agonist. That should hopefully handle the growth. If not then surgery. But it shouldn't need to be surgery - unless the medication doesn't work.

I've added links to sites with information about them and the problems - including my apparent peri-menopause which may have actually been due to the growth on my pituitary gland's instead.

Not that it matters at this stage, but these are neurological and endocrinological issues far beyond my control. Possibly hereditary issues that never were looked for by doctors and thus handled at an earlier stage.

Honestly I feel as though my life has been ruined by these things I have had no control over. Though the universe knows how hard I have tried to build a happy and stable life for myself even not knowing why I kept having more and more problems with my physical and mental health.

I feel as though my marriage (and several of my friendships) was destroyed by Shawn's not understanding and/or believing that my mental problems stemmed from things I had literally almost no control over. Erica thinks he just couldn't handle caring any more. Point blank that nothing could have changed his abandoning me. So between my fairly constant panic attacks, stress levels that are ridiculously high and my utterly overwhelming feelings of worthlessness I can't stop crying tonight.

I hate to believe Shawn would always choose the easy way out by 10 out of 10 times leaving me at a crisis point in my health, but I guess I know it's true. And that's part of why I don't really want anything to do with him. How can I take care of myself emotionally if I give him any leeway? He has had multiple opportunities to step up like a mature man and care for me rather than continue on his immature path of bullshit, lies and evasion.

When somebody is as sick as I am and needs care and consideration and love? Only somebody strong enough to unconditionally give those is allowed even as a friend. Otherwise it will just lead to more trauma that I can't handle.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hashimoto_thyroiditis

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000704.htm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperprolactinemia