Posterous theme by Cory Watilo

We Do The Best We Can

Losing my voice from doing a small effort has me back in bed. I've opened the screen door and have two small fans attacking the heat with their little might. Too sick to eat right now, but I have cocoa Chex and soy milk to make a quick bowl of cereal later. And a sliced plantain soaking in a light sugar water since last night will make a nice snack later when I can stand for a bit again.

I don't want to be sick. My last alleged caregiver actually told me to my face she wished she was sick so she could lie around and have people care for her.

I quoted her to Tracy and she had a similar reaction to mine: not only insulting but showing a complete lack of awareness of what most disabled or sick people feel. No real compassion. Or understanding.

In fact I don't know a single ill person who feels like that. Fine with their illness or disability in the care needed. Most detest needing assistance and submit to it out of need, not want.

The pain and nausea make everything barely bearable but yet we try, we walking wounded. Whether it's physical or mental or a combination of both...we try to maintain as much independence as possible. If I could not need help I would dispense with it and be happier for it.

The 4th of July stands for independence here in the States. Ironical 4th of July. Also the anniversary of my marriage for Shawn's family and our friends.

The pain has me beaten for now. Oh yeah. This is just awesomely wonderful. All my sick and disabled friends join me in celebrating our status.