What Should I Do?
I want some peace and quiet.
This whole situation feels so fucked up. I give up. It hurts and I can't figure out what to do. The lies, thievery and betrayal bullshit after all the generosity just feels like a hand is crushing my heart right in my chest. The tears are just cutting a path down my face. Why would he not only steal, but deliberately steal something discussed as a no-no and then to appear almost to throw it in my face.
How do I go forward? I don't - I CAN'T trust my judgment if these past two are anything to go by. I'm scared that I'm so sick and that I need help and I can't trust anybody. I'm laying here crying with my biggest hope being that a good person will want me in their life and has the strength and capability to assist me and to share their life with me and capable of accepting me in their life. I don't know how everything I need can be listed in my ad and yet even acknowledging that doesn't change the behavior. I hide nothing but even that doesn't help. I'm alone. And I'm scared. I need to find a person who can handle my health. The ups and downs. Oh gods, this is horrible and I wish somebody was strong enough and capable of helping me work toward a future. But instead this bull occurs and I'm hoping for help. This has utterly destroyed me today and tonight.
Lies and thievery and betrayal of trust and generosity. It hurts so much.