Posterous theme by Cory Watilo

Yeah, this sucks

I'm completely freaked out by the knowledge I have a non-cancerous tumor on my pituitary gland that could have caused so much of the wreckage in my life.

So the fact I basically went cold-turkey on Xanax after four or five years of daily use and now I'm slowly (one month at a time vs the two weeks a pharmacist told me was plausible) dropping my Fentynal patches after being on as high a dose as 125 I'm now at 75 is just me pushing my own internal envelope.

Erica keeps telling me how strong I am and the past six weeks prove her beyond right. I may end up using a different opioid to control the pain, but until I end up on a dopamine agonist I have to literally try to use as few addictive medications as possible.

None of that makes sense to people that don't have degenerative diseases, most likely.

My neurologist may end up taking over my pain management. She's closer, more experienced, and has a better grasp on the whole of my condition. Which just keeps getting more and more into the neuro-endocrine and autoimmune problems.

The good thing is unlike my fibromyalgia this new series of problems has a very clear paper trail. And based on the next month or so I may end up on even stronger medications than the ones I'm cutting off for trial purposes. If I could just do it now? Trust me, I would.