Posterous theme by Cory Watilo

You Try and Try To Trust But Everything is Just Dust

Today started fine. Caregiver/roommate came in and did the morning "chores" and I asked her about stuff and then told her to go back to sleep.

So when she later accused me of, oh I don't really know - I guess of interfering with her need for sleep, I told her to stop trying to start fights, because her new behavior stood out stark.

She didn't do any of my laundry, hasn't done it in weeks. She claimed she had to wait for FedEx/UPS and so that had been her work apparently which comes across as utter bull and I'll place it under self delusion gently. Never mind my trusting her with my credit card only to have her not make her payment on time. I hadn't used the card in years so the onus lay on her as we had agreed.

She left me for almost the whole of the day today. Her communication skills leave much to be desired. It was fine for us as friends, but as my caregiver and/or roommate it drives me slightly bonkers. She stated she knew before she moved in that her rent was pay for her care. As it should be. Part-time is between 25-35 hours a week. I look around my home and see the lack of care and know I've been foolish to trust again.

And so with the list of problems growing larger I know the sooner I'm free of my current living situation, the better off all Involved will be. I love those in my life, and will do what I can to stop any furthering of dishonor that may have started. Divorce of all kinds is ugly. I just want lots of hugs - is that too much to ask?

I would love better communication skills and care and no more feeling I have to hide and literally suffer fear of fights from misunderstandings that will keep me hiding in my room with my face toward the wall. Just think of happy things dear self...